Who am I?

I am looking at myself in the mirror. It's a banal thing to say, but I don't recognize the person staring back at me. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m lost. I used to have a strong sense of who I was and how I fit in the world. I certainly wasn't perfect, but I knew when an uncomfortable situation would lead to an accomplished feeling or would end in remorse and regret. Lines defining the different parts of me are merging into one blurred mass: I’m confused daily. It is during quiet moments where my mind fills the blank spaces with scenes of the day which drag with them the weight of my choices, or lack of choices. Today I feel foreign in my skin. Am I betraying the person I thought I was? Is my past self just that? A past self? My stomach was turning. I didn't know if my body was reacting physically to the regret I felt over my behaviour: my failure in honouring the character I thought I possessed. My old self never would have eaten a suspicious looking half eaten slice of pizza left behind by my kid because it seemed easier than walking to the garbage can to throw it away. Come to think of it, that stomach issue might be more mild food poisoning. This could be a long night.

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